Cutting
Loose: Why Women Who End Their Marriage Do So Well,
by Ashton Applewhite
SUMMARY: This new book by Ashton Applewhite is a feast. There is
relatively little of Ashton Applewhite here and a great deal of the
heroic, sometimes mundane, sometimes inspiring stories of women who
have survived. Fair warning: Applewhite is unabashed in her support
of divorce as the correct choice for women locked in bad marriages.
Divorce for
Dummies, by John Ventura & Mary
Reed
SUMMARY: Don’t let the title fool you. The dummies are the
ones paying their lawyers thousands of dollars and losing control
of their divorce. It’s smart people who are reading books like
this so they can think strategically, stay in control, and move on
with their lives after divorce. The “_____ for Dummies” paradigm
is a simplified, sprightly assortment of tips, tricks, warnings,
and explanations, distilled and delivered in paragraphs of no more
than two inches. This one is no exception. I found it a little annoying
after a while, but it does make manageable the sometimes complex
decisions you need to make in divorce. Some of the best sections
are on helping your lawyer to help you, what to expect in a divorce
trial, and how to deal with the toughest pos-divorce problems.
Divorce and
Money: How to Make the Best Financial
Decisions During Divorce, by
Violet Woodhouse
SUMMARY: This book is packed with solid, practical, usable information
to help you and your spouse wrestle with the tough financial decisions
you’re having to make. This one is pricey, and I wish there
were a cheaper version of it. Even at this high price, though, it’s
worth it.
Divorce: The
Best Resources To Help You Survive,
by Rich Wemhoff
SUMMARY: This is not so much a resource in and of itself; it’s
more of a gateway or guide to the full panoply of resources available
for people going through divorce. Wemhoff offers comprehensive one-page
reviews of nearly 200 books, tapes, web sites, CD’s and software.
He categorizes the resources by how you might use them and who might
use them. For example, there are separate sections of information
for children 13+, children 6-12, and preschoolers. Wemhoff patiently
and compassionately rates each resource for overall rating and for
design and ease of use. He’s not afraid to list a resource
and tell you the problems with it, which is refreshing. My guess
is that the average person going through divorce would find Wemhoff’s
book to be overkill. If you’re an information junkie, you’ll
love it.
Crazy Time:
Surviving Divorce & Building a
New Life, by Abigail Tafford
SUMMARY: This is a classic, recognized for more than 15 years as
the essential guidebook for getting through divorce. Tafford is
compassionate, articulate, and ever so savvy about the troubles people
go through when they have to deal with divorce. Highly recommended.
How to Aviod
the Divorce from Hell, and Dance Together
at Your Daughter’s Wedding,
by M. Sue Talia
SUMMARY: Sue Talia has been a successful divorce lawyer in the hotbed
of California domestic relations for 20 years, and her book shows
it. It’s intelligent, thoughtful, and above all, readable.
It’s easy to recommend this one for almost anyone going through
divorce.
2nd Chances:
Men, Women, and Children a Decade After
Divorce, by Judith S. Wallerstein
SUMMARY: It’s hard to overstate the impact Wallerstein had
with this book. She wrote it at a time when the mental health community
accepted the convention that most of the stress that husbands, wives,
and children experience in divorce is short-lived. Wallerstein’s
anecdotal research skewered this comfortable assumption, forcing
all of us to confront the painful truth that divorce hurts– sometimes
for decades. That having been said, though, this is a fundamentally
uplifting book. Wallerstein writes well, and her genuine love for
people whose progress she monitors is palpable.
The Good Divorce,
by Constance R. Ahrons
SUMMARY: Connie Ahrons is one of those seminal thinkers who has changed
the face of divorce around the world, and this is her best-known
work. It’s all about changing our fundamental concept of divorce
from ;breaking up the family” to “redefining the family.” To
my knowledge, it was Ahrons who coined the term “binuclear
family.” Her ideas may be a little California for you, but
it’s probably worth hearing her perspective.
Your Pocket
Divorce Guide, by Linda C. Senn
SUMMARY: This is a nice, approachable, compact handbook. You won’t
find technical details here. Instead, you’ll find simple, practical
guidance on the gut issues one faces when going through divorce.
Less than 100 pages long, this book focuses in the esoteric (maintaining
spiritual health through communing with nature) and the eminently
practical (exactly what utensils you need to start over again in
the kitchen). Senn is a veteran of divorce who speaks frankly of
her own journey from her role as “Mother-and-Savior-of-Everyone” (her
words) to a person enjoying “the most amazingly full and rewarding
life I could ever have imagined.” Good reading.
Mom’s
House, Dad’s House: A Complete
Guide for Parents Who Are Separated,
Divorced, or Living Apart, by
Isolina Ricci
SUMMARY: Isa Ricci is a powerful author, a compassionate leader,
and an all-around neat lady. Mom’s House, Dad’s House
may not have started the concept of joint custody and shared parenting,
but it sure put it on the map. This is a classic, and it’s
still valid today.
What Every Woman
Should Know About Divorce and Custody,
by Gayle Rosenwald Smith, J.D., and
Sally Abrahms
SUMMARY: This is an extraordinary sensible, sensitive, and pragmatic
book. It is highly recommended. Interestingly enough, it looks as
if it would be just as useful to men as women. One of my favorite
sections is “Hot-button Issues.” Things like “The
Gilrfriend in His Bed,” “Having Your Child Travel Alone,” and ‘Smoking,
Drugs, Drinking, Gambling, and Other Addictions.” For what
it’s worth, the full title is “What Every Woman Should
Know About Divorce and Custody; Judges, Lawyers, and Therapists Share
Winning Strategies on How to Keep the Kids, the Cash, and your Sanity.”
Coparenting
After Divorce: A Handbook for Clients.
(A special publication of Family Advocate
magazine.) Published by the American
Bar Association Family Law Section,
750 N. Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, IL
60611; 1-800-285-2221. PC513-1100-2101.
(56 pp.)
My Parents Are
Getting Divorced: A Handbook for Kids (A
special publication of Family Advocate.)
Published by the ABA Family Law Section,
750 N. Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, IL
60611; 1-800-285-2221. PC513-1100-1804.
(48 pp.)
Putting Kids
First: Walking Away From the Marriage
Without Walking Over the Kids,
by Michael L. Oddenino
Parents are
Forever, by Shirley Thomas,
Ph.D.
My Parents Don’t
Live with Me Anymore; Coping with the
Custody Crisis, by Doreen Virtue
Handbook for
the Newly Divorced: Practical Advice
for Getting on with Your Life.
(A special publication of Family Advocate.)
Published by the ABA Family Law Section,
750 N. Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, IL
60611; 1-800-285-2221. PC513-1100-1803R
(48 pp.)
Getting Divorced
Without Ruining Your Life, by
Sam Margulies, Ph.D.
A Client’s
Guide to Limited Legal Services,
by Sue Talia
It Takes a Year,
by Sue Talia
Men on Divorce;
Conversations with Ex-Husbands,
by Ellie Wymard Ph.D.
Between Love & Hate:
A Guide to Civilized Divorce,
by Lois Gold
No Place to
Hide: Facing Sham So We Can Find Self-Respect,
by Michael Nicholas
Revolution From
Within; A Book of Self-Esteem,
by Gloria Steinem
Divorce Hangover:
A Step-by-Step Prescription for Creating
a Bright Future After Your Marriage
Ends, by Anne Walther.
Domestic Violence:
A Practical Guide for Survivors,
published by the NC Bar Association.
Visit their website at http://www.ncbar.org
Getting to Yes:
Negotiating Agreement Without Giving
In, by Roger Fisher and William
Ury
